• Happiness is waking up, looking at the clock and finding that you still have two hours left to sleep.
    Charles M Schulz

      American cartoonist - Died 2000

  • The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.
    Woody Allen

      American director, actor, and comedian

  • A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
    Joan Rivers

      American comedian

  • Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
    Anthony Burgess

      English writer - Died 1993

  • I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.
    Chelsea Handler

      American comedian

  • Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.
    Albert Camus

      French philosopher and writer - Died 1960

  • Do you know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
    Steve Martin

      American actor

  • There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes Benz 380SL convertible.
    P J O'Rourke

      American political satirist

  • Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
    Woody Allen

      American director, actor, and comedian

  • The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to dress up for it.
    Truman Capote

      American novelist - Died 1984

  • To err is human - but it feels divine.
    Mae West

      American actress - Died 1980

  • It doesn't matter what you do in the bedroom as long as you don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses.
    Mrs Patrick Campbell

      English actress - Died 1940

  • Sex is an emotion in motion.
    Mae West

      American actress - Died 1980

  • If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
    Rodney Dangerfield

      American stand-up comedian - Died 2004

  • We have reason to believe that man first walked up-right to free his hands for masturbation.
    Lily Tomlin

      American actress