Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is like another nail.
The heart of marriage is memories, and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.
Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated, often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone who comes in between them.
In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.
Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man.
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
The formula for a happy marriage? It's the same as the one for living in California: when you find a fault, don't dwell on it.
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
Remember that a successful marriage depends on two things: 1, finding the right person and 2, being the right person.
Carrie P Snow
In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy.
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
The one charm about marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties.
Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.
Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel.
Leonardo Da Vinci
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and career.
After a few years of marriage a man can look right at a woman without seeing her and a woman can see right through a man without looking at him.
You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time’.
Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.
George Bernard Shaw
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.
Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man.
Women are the only exploited group in history to have been idealized into powerlessness.