Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
The number of followers you have doesn't make you better than anyone else. Hitler had millions, Jesus had 12.
Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
I'd rather live my whole life assuming there is a God, only to find out that there isn't than to live my whole life assuming there isn't a God, only to find out there is.
The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful and has nobody to thank.
A Christian is a man who feels repentance on Sunday for what he did on Saturday and is going to do on Monday.
Young man, the secret of my success is that at an early age I discovered I was not God.
Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr
I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress.
No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says. He is always convinced that it says what he means.
George Bernard Shaw
People who want to share their religious views with you, almost never want you to share yours with them.
Christianity is the strangest religion ever set up, for it committed a murder upon Jesus in order to redeem mankind from the sin of eating an apple.
If there were no God, there would be no atheists.
G K Chesterton
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me... they're cramming for their final exam.
It is time the Arabs and the Jews sat down and settled this dispute in the true Christian spirit.
Senator Warren Austin
The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.
Most of us spend the first six days of the week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.
It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry.
H L Mencken
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.
A real Christian is a person who can give his pet parrot to the town gossip.
Some things have to be believed to be seen.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
If you use the church's WiFi, are you receiving God's signal?
I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.