• I'm going to bed really means "I'm going to lie in my bed and go on my phone".
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  • Those who snore always fall asleep first.
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  • When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning", I sleep in until noon because I'm a problem solver.
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  • My mother told me to follow my dreams, so I took a nap.
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  • If you use the church's WiFi, are you receiving God's signal?
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  • Relationships are basically just two people constantly asking each other what they want to eat, until one of them dies.
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  • The number of followers you have doesn't make you better than anyone else. Hitler had millions, Jesus had 12.
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  • I don't need a psychiatrist to prod into my personal life and make me tell them all my secrets, I have my friends for that.
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  • You can't fall if you don't climb. But there's no joy in living your whole life on the ground.
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  • Know your limits, but never stop trying to exceed them.
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  • In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
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  • Money, I can only gain or lose. But time I can only lose. So, I must spend it carefully.
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  • My responsibility is getting all my players playing for the name on the front of the jersey, not the one on the back.
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  • The horse does the work and the coachman is tipped.
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  • If only common sense were more common.
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