Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present.
Enjoy life, there is plenty of time to be dead.
My parents should be proud of me because I am addicted to Facebook, not drugs. Unknown
Laughter is the best medicine, but if you laugh for no reason then you need medicine.
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. Mark Twain
The best thing about being me. I am a limited edition! There are no copies! Unknown
Sorry, I can't today. My sister's friend's mother's grandpa's brother's grandson's uncle's fish died and yes it was tragic. Unknown
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do. Unknown
If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel. Unknown