If you've landed on this post, it's because you're a fan of Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory. Sheldon Cooper quotes are some of the funniest on the show. His dry wit is hilerious, and without Sheldon, The Big Bang Theory would be very boring.

These are some of the best Sheldon Cooper quotes since the show's debut in 2007.

Season 2

Image of Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory with quotes from season 2
Trust me, if I had a death ray, I wouldn't be here. I'd be in my lair enjoying the money people of Earth gave me for not using my death ray.
Sheldon Cooper
For the record, I do have genitals. They're functional and aesthetically pleasing.
Sheldon Cooper
My mom smokes in the car. Jesus is okay with it, but we can't tell dad.
Sheldon Cooper
Ah, memory impairment. The free prize at the bottom of a vodka bottle.
Sheldon Cooper
I'm the William Shatner of theoretical physics.
Sheldon Cooper
Well, today we tried masturbating for money.
Sheldon Cooper
I'm not insane. My mother had me tested.
Sheldon Cooper
Ah, gravity. Thou art a heartless bitch.
Sheldon Cooper
Oh, I'm sorry. Did I insult you? Is your body mass somehow tied to your self-worth?
Sheldon Cooper
What computer do you have? And please don't say a white one.
Sheldon Cooper