I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State… These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. George Carlin
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. George Carlin
Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. George Carlin
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. George Carlin
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me... they're cramming for their final exam. George Carlin